Teasers

A Messed-Up Wuxia World Volume 1 Chapter 6

Ahem, slightly suggestive scenes present.

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Luan Qi Ba Zao De Wu Xia Shi Jie

Volume 1 Chapter 6: To Think My Life’s First Time Will, In This Manner…

“My primary objective at the moment is to learn the texts. If not, I’ll turn into a modern illiterate.”

Yep yep, the bookstores out there should have Learn-to-Read books for kids right? Why don’t I go and buy two of them. With these thoughts in mind, Dongfang Chenyi grabs his money, changes out of his dirty clothes and walks out the mansion.

Truth be told, it wasn’t that Dongfang Chenyi twiddled his thumbs and idled around in the past. He was familiarising himself with the environment so that he wouldn’t get lost like he did on the first day.

However, the way passersby look at me is really hard to bear ah. Although I know that their gazes aren’t the despising sort… it still doesn’t feel very pleasant. Is this how it feels like to be ‘raped with the eyes’…

“I remember the bookstore being around here…” Dongfang Chenyi saw a bookstore in the vicinity during one of his strolls before. Although the storefront had tadpole text on it, Dongfang Chenyi noticed that there were many books displayed within, so it should probably be a bookstore.

Dongfang Chenyi enters the bookstore. The shopkeeper immediately greets him, “Isn’t this Young Master Dongfang? Welcome to Xinhua Bookstore. What do you need?”

Cough! Dongfang Chenyi almost spit a mouthful of old blood onto the shopkeeper’s face.

What the hell? ‘Xinhua Bookstore’? Don’t tell me it’s a nation-wide bookstore chain[1]?

“Do you have… Learn-to-Read books for kids or the like?” After some consideration, Dongfang Chenyi adds: “Don’t misunderstand, I’m buying this for a child in my family.”

“We do have, we do have, follow me.”

Dongfang Chenyi follows the shopkeeper to a corner of the bookstore. The shopkeeper points at a particular shelf and says: “These are all Learn-to-Read books. Take a look and call me if there’s anything you need.”

“Nuhhuh… I got it.” After sending the shopkeeper away, Dongfang Chenyi randomly picks up a book and flips it.

Mm, the book is really made very meticulously. There’s a picture depicting a woman carrying an infant. Beside the woman are two tadpole characters which, according to Dongfang Chenyi’s conjecture, should be “mother”[2].

However… so brazen! The book may have been made very meticulously but I can’t read it. How can I read when there’s no one to teach me ah? Don’t tell me you guys don’t have phonetic notations? You can also let me check up the meanings of anything I don’t understand either ah! Easy peasy![3]

“Do you have… something like a dictionary?”

“‘Dictionary’? What’s a ‘dictionary?”

“Um… It means something with lots of phonetic notations and explanations of words.” Dongfang Chenyi decides to place his bets on the dictionary.

“Are you referring to the comprehensive collection of vocabulary? We have it.” The shopkeeper quickly brought a seemingly very thick book over. 

This book… don’t tell me it’s Xinhua Dictionary[4]… Dongfang Chenyi readily opens the dictionary as he thinks.

Yup, it truly has the same structure as modern dictionaries. However… what the heck’s with this phonetic notation at the side? Aren’t phonetic notations invented during the modern era? Aren’t you guys in the ancient times? Why do you have these? Is there really nothing wrong with this wuxia era?

Forget it… Dongfang Chenyi decides not to bother with the details. At least with the phonetic notations, he can learn to read by using the dictionary. After all, the speech used in this era is standard Mandarin. He can hinge on the pronunciation一一to learn the words. Still, this dictionary is so thick. How long will he take to memorise it ah…

Carrying a chunky dictionary, Dongfang Chenyi leaves the bookstore with complicated feelings. Just as he takes several steps, he feels a heavy blow strike his head, causing his body to lose strength in the blink of an eye. Next, everything goes black and he faints.

……

“Young Master, this kid Dongfang Chenyi has yet to wake.”

“Pour cold water on him!”

“Yes.”

Splash, cold water is poured on Dongfang Chenyi, giving Dongfang Chenyi the chills as he slowly opens his eyes.

“Eh…. this place is…”

“Young Master, this kid Dongfang Chenyi has woke up.”

“I got it, go bring her here.”

“Yes.”

As Dongfang Chenyi shakes his head, he realises there’s a masked person in black standing before him. Speaking of which, it’s daytime right now. Don’t you feel very conspicuous wearing black in daylight?

Well, this seems to be some dilapidated residence. In addition, my body is tied up, don’t tell me I was… kidnapped? Startled, Dongfang Chenyi starts to struggle: ”Who are you, what are you scheming?”

“Humph, my identity isn’t important. What’s important is that you’ve already landed in my clutches. To think it was so easy to sneak attack this young hero Dongfang Chenyi, it appears your strength isn’t much after all.”

“What on earth do you guys want? Is it money? Or do you want to kill me?”

“We wouldn’t dare to; you are our important chess piece. How can we kill you so lightly?”

Despicable, what on earth does this fellow want to do?!

“I’ve brought her, Young Master.”

At this moment, a shifty-eyed man enters, pulling a woman in with him.

The black-clad person points at the woman with a smile and says: “Very good. You, come over here.”

The woman lowers her head and walks over with great reluctance. After pressing her acupuncture points, the black-clad person gives her a slap, causing her to fall onto the floor.

This fellow… having witnessed this scene, Dongfang Chenyi’s face is full of anger. To think that this black-clad person would be so ruthless towards such a weak girl.

“Hehe, don’t be so angry, young hero Dongfang. I was thinking of your welfare,” the black-clad person takes out a red-coloured pill from a bag as he speaks. “Young hero Dongfang, do you know what pill is this?”

“How would I know? Don’t tell me it’s ***disiac?”

“As expected of young hero Dongfang, this is ***disiac.”

FML, it really is. Could it be this fellow intends to… the black-clad person reached out to grab Dongfang Chenyi’s mouth and forcibly fed Dongfang Chenyi the pill.

“What are you planning to do!”

“Heh heh, nothing much. I just want you to disgrace yourself…” The black-clad person stood up, “‘Dongfang Clan’s future patriarch defiled Lin Clan’s young miss’. As for what will happen to the Dongfang Clan and what will happen to you, Dongfang Chenyi, if this gets out, do you still need me to spell it out?”

“You bastard!” Dongfang Chenyi shouts and tries to stand up desperately. However, the ropes on his body are tied very tightly and he is simply unable to move.

“Hehe, esteemed Young Master of the Dongfang Clan, why are you so anxious? I’ll help you loosen them in a while.” The black-clad person turns to leave as he speaks, “Oh right, I forgot to mention. Regarding this Qiyin Hehuan San[5] that you consumed, if you don’t undergo intercourse within an hour, you’ll die of bleeding from your seven orifices[6]… heh heh heh, I hope you know what’s good for you. Preparations were even made for you.”

Finishing his words, the black-clad person leaves with the shifty-eyed man in tow. The instance the black-clad person closes the door, his finger flicks, unexpectedly causing all the ropes on Dongfang Chenyi’s body to sever.

The ropes have severed… but Dongfang Chenyi’s entire body is rapidly turning upside down. His face has already flushed red and his body is astonishingly hot, in particular that area has completely become excited.

Dongfang Chenyi looks at the girl who had fallen onto the ground. Around the age of 16 or 17 and wearing simple blue garments, she’s lightly dressed up, giving the feeling of a pure beauty.

Dongfang Chenyi can’t help but swallow a mouthful of saliva. His brain has already started to turn fuzzy and he is also starting to lose control of his body. Dongfang Chenyi’s gaze wanders between the girl’s chest and thighs, staring uncomfortably at the girl on the ground. 

Although this girl isn’t as pretty as Mengdie, she is also considered high quality. The places that should be protruding are protruding, and the places that should be curved are curved… 

What Dongfang Chenyi wants to do the most now is to immediately pounce on that girl, rolling here and rolling there…

Dongfang Chenyi suppresses his desire. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. The Dongfang Clan will be in danger if f I push her down…

However…

I’m sorry! I am still a man at any rate… if I back out here…

Dongfang Chenyi still loses to his desires in the end. He fiercely pounced, quickly pressing the girl against the ground.

Can it be… I’m going to lose my virginity here?

To think my life’s first time will, in this manner…

 

()


[1] 新华 (Xinhua): ‘New China’ or The People’s Republic of China. Xinhua Bookstore.
[2] Original: 妈妈 (māmā) has 2 characters.
[3] Original: “So easy!” in English.
[4] Xinhua Dictionary
[5] Sorry, really have no idea how to translate this without sounding ridiculous. This particular drug apparently appeared in Jin Yong’s Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils.
[6] Eyes, ears, nostrils and mouth.

xxx(


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6 thoughts on “A Messed-Up Wuxia World Volume 1 Chapter 6

    1. Yay! Fellow person from SG! Haha totally agree that he’s an idiot. The author might have gone too far using the main character for comedic purposes… still hoping for character development in future chapters!

      Like

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